Moving Forward with Fear

February 22, 2010: 

We had the Cambodia class today and it was eventful. Students presented their ideas on women’s issues today. I thought they went well and showed the group different aspects of things. 

Bay Leaves* finally broke from their shell! They made jokes during the presnetation and seemed to be engaging more. 

We signed waivers and such from PEPY (the organization that we are going with/taking us around). I also brought in the XL2 camera to show them what it looks like and to get some footage of our class. 

After their presentations, I played the Africa documentary for the class and went though the filmmakers pledge. I talked about what I’m going to do with it and how I’m balancing the role of peer leader and filmmaker. I feel like I got a lot of good classroom shots today. I got some nice rack focus’ of students’ faces as they watched the presentations. 

Ginger also made it to class today! Ginger seems to be feeling a lot better and looks good. I was so happy to see them, I feel like they are almost a parent away from a parent. 

After class some of the freshmen, Paprika and I went to the soda shop on the square for ice cream. It was nice to hangout with everyone outside of class. We all cracked jokes about Bay Leaves’ jokes and Saffron had some questions for me about what counted as a logo on a shirt for documentary copyright issues. 

I really really like the 12 remaining students. We all get along well and have formed our little Kruesa. 

The blog seems to be running smoothly. Everyone seems to understand the gravity of this trip. I made Garlic do a vlog before class so I’ll be posting this on the blog. 

I’ve had my first friend change issue already and we haven’t even left yet. Today I was texting one of my friends Nutmeg about how I was scared of the personal change I’ll be making with this trip. Basically Nutmeg said that they doubt I will change and I’ll just go back to the same old me like two weeks later. Uhh, really? Hell no. I’m not traveling overseas to see firsthand the impacts of human trafficking and then just “oh well” the rest of my life. Vanilla, another friend, also agreed with Nutmeg which upset me even more. People have ended relationships from the trips, stopped drinking, and changed their thought process altogether. I called Pepper about this and they said they had completely changed. Pepper doesn’t hangout with the same friends - those that didn’t get it. Changed how Pepper looks at the world. 

Pepper also said that there isn’t a point in changing their minds. They aren’t in my shoes. They aren’t going on a trip to another country. I just wonder about what my other friends think. How many will I loose? Life happens. Growth is for the good. This trip WILL impact my life. 

*all names have been changed for privacy 

Little short

February 20, 2011: 

17 days from now I’ll embark on the journey of a lifetime. I’m excited for what lays ahead. 

My advisor has storyboarded my trip as a backup plan for me. It sounds so good! It seems very emotional and seems like the end result will be worth it. 

On Tuesday this week, students will be presenting their presentations about women’s issues such as leaders and domestic abuse. I’m excited to see those. After, that I’m going to talk about documentary stuff and what all I need from them. Things seem to be going well! 

Skype

February 12, 2011: 

This morning at 8am we had our first Skype video conference with Daniella and Yut (ex Buddhist monk) from PEPY, the organization that we are partnering up with in Cambodia for travel. There was loads we talks about! Everything from education to squat toilets. Daniella and Yut seem super cool, and I’m excited to meet them. Daniella even demonstrated how to use a squat toilet. They said that the food will be very similar to Thai food, but not as spicy. They talked about public displays of affection and how they are not okay, but two guys or two girls can show affection to each other in public as a sign of their friendship. 

The freshmen students started introducing ourselves and things we were concerned about. The only concern I had was not wanting to leave. The other students had concerns of homestays, food, diseases, etc. I feel like this is just one more that has brought us close as a group, and made us more excited to go. 

Basil (for work again), Mint, and Clove (idk why they didn’t show) were not there this morning. I really hope everyone stays committed and goes on the trip! 

Another thing Daniella talked about was that our shower situation was wrapping yourself in this cloth and then pouring water over your head from a bucket. She also talked about how the second question Cambodians will ask you (after what is your name) is how old you are - so they can adjust to how they speak to you (they call elders, aunts/uncles, sign of endearment). They will also ask if we are married or not and if you aren’t you must always answer with “not yet.” 

After our Skype conference, Thyme surprised the students with their Akun braceletes from Somaly Mam’s shelters; I got a green one (3rd one). Thyme also purchased a book off of Somaly’s website that is a photo book of the girls in her shelters. Finally, Thyme passed out our itinerary for the trip! I’m so excited! You’ll learn more about what we do if you keep reading, but it has everything from Somaly Mam’s shelters to the killing fields and silk farms on it. Right now I’m uplioading my flip footage of the Skype conference call that was an hour long! I’m still pumped to go! 

P.S. I heard back from Bay Leaves about their opinion on the articles we read and she had some profound thoughts. Now we need to her to just speak up in class. 

Here is 2011

January 27, 2011: 

Here is 2011! So much has happened! Over the Christmas break my passport came in. I can’t wait for the first stamp to be Cambodia. Life is great right now. I have several projects on the rise from Cambodia, TOMS, to presenting at a national conference in Las Vegas. I got my car fixed over the break, have an amazing roommate and best friend (Cinnamon/Pepper*), and school is going well! 

Speaking of school we had our first Cambodia class on Tuesday. It felt like home. I honestly can say I don’t dislike anyone. The class started off with previous ambassadors coming and talking about their journey, which I thought was neat and I could tell the other Cambodians liked it. The previous ambassadors challenged us to find the word for family in Cambodian (in Africa it’s Banja). So far, I’ve looked online and cant’ find the translation. They said through this experience we will become a family and I fully believe this. 

After they left both Paprika and I led them through some get to know you’s. I think I can officially say that I know everyone’s name. It was really fun to see everyone interacting together and forming bonds. I then asked about the Facebook group and added Bay Leaves in there today. I also created our blog for Cambodia! It’s at: readershipwtcambodia.wordpress.com. Today, I added some of them so they can blog about where they came from and what we’ve done so far. I also posted Paprika’s reaction video to meeting Somaly Mam on that blog. 

Speaking of videos, my advisor and I met about what I’ll be doing. Basically it’s whatever I want. Something about 1:45 and good quality video will work. They are super excited about my trip and wants to set up a meeting with Ginger and I about specifics. I’ll be bringing a Canon XL2 (same one they brought to Africa) to shoot. My advisor said the more I shoot the more I can do, so we’ll see how things go. I still want to do a PSA when I get back. My advisor also gave me a graphic as to help with the idea on how to represent human trafficking. All in all I’m super excited to be going. 

I’m thankful and lucky to have this opportunity to help lead students through this journey. I can’t wait to get to know everyone these next few weeks before the trip. The official travel dates are March 9-21, 2011. The weird thing with the time changes, I basically loose a day going there and then go back a day in time on the return trip. We fly from Amarillo to Dallas to L.A. to Seoul, South Korea, to Penohm Pehn, Cambodia. Paprika and I have another meeting with Ginger on Monday. As of right now our jobs are just to engage and get to know students. As the song goes I’m ready for my “holiday in Cambodia!” 

Organized Crime

How I got here

Let’s do a little back tracking for awhile. 

I’ve been writing in my journal about Cambodia and the trip for awhile now and I’ve decided that I should post my journal entries and then continue posting my thoughts and lessons learned. So to start off: 

November 13, 2010: 

I should have started journaling awhile back. Where do I even begin? It was two years ago that I cam to WT on a leap of faith searching for broadcasting schools. My freshmen year I read What is the What and spent all Summer writing my essay for the readership program trip to Africa. When I spent all Summer long…I really mean ALL SUMMER - I had my high school English teachers review it. I didn’t even get an interview to win the contest. 

Later that year I applied to be a Peer Leader and help incoming high school students transition into the college life. I didn’t get that either. And truth be told, I shouldn’t have. I hadn’t matured enough yet. I was still in this “party” and “let’s go crazy” mentality. 

My next year in college, changed me for the better. After several mistakes, as we all have made before, I began to grow up a little. I started caring more for my friends and they started to help me grow. My best friend Pepper, who went on the Africa trip (and whose birthday is today) helped me grow the most. I’ve learned what love is and what it isn’t. I’ve learned about myself, and I know I want to continue to change for the better. No longer be viewed as the “party goer.” I’m becoming an adult. 

Anyway, back to the story, this past year I re-applied to be a Peer Leader and I got it! This Summer as a Peer Leader has been the best! Now as a part of the readership program, one Peer Leader is supposed to go with the freshmen students on the trip that year. This year’s book is The Road of Lost Innocence by Somaly Mam. After reading the book and writing an essay, it came down to Paprika and I for the spot and an all expense paid trip to Cambodia! Well, I wouldn’t be writing in this journal if I hadn’t been chosen (Paprika and I are both going!). I am so excited! With 14 other freshmen, Paprika and I will travel to Cambodia (with 2 advisors of course) and spend some days working with Somaly Mam in her shelters! I’m not entirely sure of what all we will be doing but I know after a 14 hour plane right and a layover in Hong Kong, I’ll be halfway around the world this Spring Break for the experience of a lifetime. Paprika and I will be working to engange the freshmen students on the trip and before.

Oh and as a part of my Senior Project, I’ll be bring a camera and will be shooting some sort of a mini documentary or video essay! This will look so good on my resume. So, I started this journal to keep track of my thoughts or ideas that I have before, while there, and after Cambodia. My only fear: not being able to experience every thing in full. I’m afraid I’ll become lost behind the camera or lost as a Peer Leader. So I’m listing goals that I want to accomplish on this trip: 

  1. Engage freshmen students 
  2. Shoot a “documentary” 
  3. Self discovery and who I am 
  4. Have fun and experience Cambodia

So for now that’s all. We should be getting together as a group sometime soon and getting passports. I’m so excited! Words cannot express this. Also, at freshmen convocation, where freshmen students envision graduation, the essay contest winners were announced and Somaly Mam was there and we met her! So exciting and she is such an inspiration. 

*all names are changed for privacy

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